President Bush Needs Our Help

"because his good name was dragged through the ...... mud"

President Bush Discusses Resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, August 27, 2007

You would think that between a staff of speech writers, and a staff of speech coaches, he could have come up with something better than a poorly delivered, hackneyed phrase like that. It's not as though he's never had to give this type of speech before.

For the sake of the nation's sanity, someone needs to come up with some better lines for the next "resignation in disgrace" speech that he will need to make. I'll start the list.

dragged through the:

• stockyards


• hog-manure lagoons


• guano caves of Jamaica


• restaurant grease traps


• great green grimes of greasy grimy gopher guts


• Prince William Sound


• floodwaters of New Orleans


• building 18 of Walter Reed

Have we won yet?

We have a lot of facts and figures, along with the occasional misinformation, coming from Iraq. But there doesn’t seem to be any meaning to this pile of numbers. Are we making progress, or losing ground. As management likes to say, what is our percent complete?

You can find experts and pundits that will explain how the decrease in deaths means that we are winning. Then the next month, the same experts and pundits explain how the increase in deaths means that we are winning. There are statistics on number of schools built, number of schools destroyed, and number of schools built then destroyed. We are told the number of hours the residents of Baghdad have electricity, and the number of hours they spend in traffic. But, have we won yet?

There are reports of police departments in this country dealing with a shortage of bullets, while military institutions consider group memorial services. But, have we won yet?

The experts continue to pick and choose and spin the numbers, but for me, the situation is summed up in one human-interest story from Houston. A Korean War veteran applied for his Purple Heart, and the Navy told him they were “out of stock.”

I don’t much care if we’ve won or lost. If we can’t even keep up with the demand for Purple Hearts, it’s time to find the exit door.

Short of Purple Hearts, Navy tells vet to buy own